Why This Week Was Like A Movie: The Exorcist

So Week 5 saw the 2-2 Indianapolis Colts meeting the Houston Texans on Thursday Night Football. Week 5 also reminded me that I need to do another one of these and that they are getting harder and that I was stupid to try and link all these to horror movies this month because it really locks me in to a cookie cutter genre. After thinking about it for a week longer than I was suppose to while, I really started to notice similarities between last this week’s Week 6 game and the 1973 genre redefining chillfest known as The Exorcist. This will be a short one as that game is mostly out of my mind and because this is my post and I can make however long I want.

Movie Synopsis:

The Exorcist is a romantic tale about a mother who sucks co…I mean a horror film about a young girl that is slowly being possessed by a demon and a faith shaken priest trying to rid her of that evil. What seems like a girl that is just getting the flu turns into a full on 2014 AFCCG level of horrifying. Beds rising, crucifixes used a masturbatorial replacement, pea soup, urine, scars and blood, bees(?), and ancient tongues are spoken. The priest does his damnedest to let the power of Christ compel Reagan (the girl) more than he compelled Ray Lewis (the MLB) circa 2000. After multiple failed attempts and nearly breaking away from his faith and moving on, he wins out and returns Reagan back to being demon free. Though I’m sure meetings between the two after were still pretty awkward.

How it was like week 5:

Hasselbeck – Matt Hasselbeck was phenomenal in the week 5 win and was even more impressive when you know he was sick all week with a debilitating flu . Which can be seen below:

Pep Hamilton – The man finally put together a good game plan. The one that fans have been clamoring for all season. He finally exorcised his poor play calling demons and will never return to his old ways (apparently there was an The Exorcist 2The Heretic and The Exorcist 3: This Movie Doesn’t Have Anything After The Colon) which means we will win every game for the rest of the season. Hooray!


Sorry this was such a short one this week, but I’m trying and that’s about 3% of what matters. So…Hasselbeck puking all week was all I could really truly do to connect these two, but really the fact that the team has looked so horrifying and yet this was mediocre awesomeness all at the same time. Obviously, we are bracing for some big changes come the end of this season, but staying unafraid and watching it head on (as scary as it is at times) is truly the only way to enjoy what we’ve had here in Indy for nearly 20 years. Under-performing wasn’t expected this year, but we can still turn it around and teams should really be scared of us if we stick to the game plan of quick throws, lots of runs, and bend not break defense and as long as we don’t run any moronic trick plays on 4th and 3 at any point this season.


See you next week, sports fans/movie lovers.


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